What I'm Talking About

Staying home…

My kids are beautiful, sweet, wonderful little people….

Where’s the “but” right?

Here it is: BUT sometimes, I just want to run out the door! Don’t get me wrong. I love staying home with my kids 99….errr 89% of the time. I love being a stay at home mom. I mean, what a rare opportunity to be able to be with my kids all day every day. What a blessing.

Here’s another one: BUT it is really taxing to have two little humans be so dependent on you 24/7. Even when Justin is home, they still ask me for everything. Probably just out of habit from doing it the rest of the time. Having a clingy toddler literally hanging from my legs all day is truly exhausting.

As a stay at home mom, I have a little guilt about feeling this way. I mean, I am so lucky! There are lots of people who would love to stay home with their kids all day. BUT there are days when I just can’t hear the word “Mom” one more time. Days when I feel like my head will explode if one more cup is spilled or one more fight erupts. Some days, going back to work sounds like a vacation. Not to say that working parents have it easier.  I have said before how much respect I have for working parents and I don’t think that Justin has it easier by any means. I do envy the time you all have away though. The time that is yours. Yours to do whatever you want. You can go to lunch and eat a meal uninterrupted. You can go take a nap in your car on your break. You can go to the bathroom BY YOURSELF! You can have a complete thought. Oh to have one complete though again… (I realize there is a typo there, but it so perfectly encompassed the message of the sentence, I decided to leave it)

Again, I love staying at home (Notice the repetition here…That’s the guilt talking). It is nice to have some time away though.. Even if it is just for a trip to Target. Alone time is so precious. I feel guilty about that too because when my Husband is home, I want to spend time with him. At the same time though, that is my only opportunity to get alone time.

This is a really tough age. I know that. I also know that once this really tough age is past, they will be at school, I will be back at work and this time at home with them will be a distant memory. I remember when I was in labor with Hudson, I kept saying “I can’t wait until this is just a memory”. I don’t want to wish time away. I want to enjoy these moments that we do have together. Some days are hard. Like, really hard. But, I do love every single day for a least a least a few hours!

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